Saturday, December 31, 2005

Open wide, come inside... its Playschool

is it wrong to perve on the guy from playschool?

At this stage i am realising the reason that most people have children... just so they can perve on the guy from playschool.

Personally, im not watching playschool anymore, cause i felt this overwhelming urge to make something out of playdough, so i changed the channel to watch this moron who is way funnier than Steve Irwin, cause this guy actually squeals like a little girl when he gets hurt, which is like every 1.43 seconds...

He was in the water, handfeeding moray eels (which is just stupid in itself) when a massive electric stringray (that give off a max of 200 volts) and decided to be the first person to handfeed one... wanna know why he was the first one? cause they GIVE OFF 200 VOLTS!!! then he was all upset when it shocked him.... funny to watch though.

Then he was pissing off a massive (we are talking the size of a basketball) crab that was eating... *gee i wonder what will happen now* CRUNCH!!! BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Then he was feeding birds by holding a small fish up into the air and letting them swoop.... cause birds mid flight arent going to mistake your podgy pink nubs for fish... he squealed like a little girl....

now he is cave dwelling... gee i wonder what will happen now (bats swoop and bite and he dies of rabies) wait he is climbing a big mound of bat poo and is wondering what smells....

well im off to get rip roaring drunk

love you all

Lilly xoxoxoxo

PS dont go pissing off electric stingrays, k?

Friday, December 30, 2005

Why do I not work at E.B... I ask you!

HAHAHA!!! yup, I really really should work there... imagine the profit margin.... IMAGINE!!! hell i could sell a dictionary... why is that amazing? THEY DONT SELL DICTIONARIES!!! BWAHAHAHAH!!

yes... i am puffung my chest out, how dare you ask such a question... damn you....

if the picture had have been lower, you would have seen the pink sticker announcing that *this box is empty* .... dont you say a word melody, i swear!

so anyway, a new year is nearly upon us, ive been hanging at the Taste of Tasmania, probably more then i should, but what can i say, i like to drink waaaaiiiinne and watch buskers. i got to throw an apple to a busker.... I rock.

i love buskers, specially good international buskers... they rock hard!

i love waaine... *thats wine, but frenchafied* but i just read that too much drinking causes your bones to go snap more often.... trust me if you knew me well, it would explain alot...

mmm im watching the human body, and there were spermies on it.... mmmm

well im off to the shop to get mixer for my alkihol, cause im thoisty...

love yah all

lilly xoxoxoxoxo

Sunday, December 25, 2005

boxing day anniversary.

oh and before i forget and dont get the time to say this, but please find a special place in your heart to remember the poor victims of the tsunami tradgedy... and the families of those lost that may never be found. it is very sad to lose a loved one, but to have no closure means the pain is there everyday for them. never really knowing. to them i send my love and condolences.

Fleece Fluffy Duck to all!

well i won christmas again!

i gots a twelve inch gir from invader zim! and a huge ass my littlest pet turtle (if you didnt know, i first saw the mini version whilst food shopping at woolworths, and just HAD to buy him.) i gots a microfibre towel and multi purpose dish washing liquid for my future trip to europe. i gots lollies and chocit, alcohol and rainbow makers, and a gift voucher for diva... sweeeeeet. i got a real leather bag, a rainbow wrap around head band and this weird little keyring of a little man made mostly of a beard, which you can lift up and see steak... my mum informs me that he is a hillbilly tasmanian. so i called him william richard the third. sometimes i worry about my mum...

i ate ham and turkey and chicken, and icecream and rasperries, strawberries and blueberries, and i had a hangover headache by 10am thismorning. god i love christmas!!!!!

i had to get to my mums place early thismorning, because i have to do all my sisters and mums makeup, then straighen and style all their hair.... then take photos... i dont mean to brag but i do NOT take a bad picture of anyone. i guess why that is why i am asked to take the pictures at most family and friends gatherings....

oh and there were so many tanties thrown by the littlies... my poor auntie, i dont know how she puts up with it. i just find their tanties funny. i didnt find it funny, however, when one of them went and fed my dog a cooked chicken bone and she started choking... had to wack my hand down her throat and get it out... no sooner had i got it out and thrown it down, turned to tell the kiddie why you cant feed the dog chicken bones, then the dog had whipped over and eaten the same chicken bone again and started choking again.... no sympathy this time, just another whack down the throat... stupid puppy! i had to laugh

my little sister got new mp3 players, so i spent an hour or so trying to get them to work. what is a christmas present that you cant use straight away? i ask you!

so now i am home, tired, exhausted actually, surrounded with spoils of christmas and a nice glass of champagne and some tv, and i think i might go and have a nanny nap.

gosh christmas makes me all warm and tinglie inside... or is that the champas?

hope you all have a merry christmas and i hope to make an entry before the new year, if i dont, i hope you all have a happy and bountiful new year!

lots of love

santie lilly pilly!



Monday, December 19, 2005

erm..... mildy tinglie weekend....

well, I was reading some of my friends blogs.... and i noticed that most to all of them were titled "Big weekend" or "Huge weekend", or "Massively explosive toy run weekend"...

Well i babysat. and im proud of it. I was sick, i was blerg, and yet i still babysat 4 kiddliewinks.

man am i good. i played possibly the longest game of pictionary juniour. im not sure my littlest ward got what the aim of the game was, since she spent half an hour drawing a full colour picture that we werent allowed to look at untill she was finished... so we all patiently sat on the couch and waited for her to finish.

so after pictionary, it was time for dessert. after about half hour of squabbling over who would get the biggest one...(it was peaches and homemade yoghurt) i finally said to them we would play a sort of ebay of desserts, guess my highest bid....

God i am so sore and tired.

Love you all


Friday, December 16, 2005

I must have killed so many black cats....

my luck this week has sucked big time people!!!!!

even my semi boss told me that she believed that i must have run over a few black cats, whilst running under a ladder, breaking mirrors and not looking people in the eyes when i make a toast and clink my drink with theirs.

im hugely not well, my glands all down my right side of my face and neck and shoulder have swollen to "ripleys believe it or not" proportions. all i had for two days was pannadol, cause ibeprofen makes my stomach implode.

so i havent slept, eaten or SWALLOWED for several days.

im on pennicilan, which seems to be making me dry reach on the hour, every hour.... and im too sick to go to the doctors and change them.

my temperature is 39.3 degrees celcius, dont ask me what that is in farenhieght, cause i havent the foggiest. but it means im sweating like a fat man in a sauna....

my breath is RANCID people! i have brushed my teeth 7 times today, but it just aing getting better. its really gross, i can tell you right now that it is a good thing that you cant smell it.

i wish i had the energy to take a picture of my tonsil, cause its all white and yuckie and such. seriously guinness book of world records stuff....

and the best thing is, i have to baby sit 4 children tommorow.... god damn what did i do to deserve all of this?

im going to go and throw up

love you all

yuckie lilly pilly

p.s. the answer to the game was h. all of the above... thank you all for trying!!! it was a fun game i should play more often with you all!

love sicklylilly

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Boxed lunch at the Y

well, no...... I lie

its more boxed dinner that i got from noodle house and brought home and ate on the couch whilst watching futurama, i just thought it was funny.

now my tummie is so full its going to explode all over the loungeroom, coffee table inclusive. it was yummie, soooooooooo yummie, not as yummie as sushi, but that makes me sick now, so i settle for noodlehouse.

So i find myself in a bit of a dilemma, there is nothing on tv, and im too full to move and change it to a dvd or something, and my food is still settling so i cant sleep yet.

and such is life, my friends!

Well, i was asked a very interesting and well thought out question "what is it that i do for a living?"

well..... after much deliberation, i thought "hrmm i could say what i do, and risk myself getting caught by work bitching so very much (as we all know i do, often, at great lenghts, whether you want me too or not....)"

so i thought i would make it interesting... i thoughts... i can make this into a game for all to play...
here we go!

is my job a -
a. Receptionist
b. medical receptionist
c. Medical Assistant
d. Underpaid nurse
e. Infection control
f. Lab Technitian
g. too good and overqualified to be paid so very little to put up with so much crap
h. All of the above

just guess i dare you......


well, today didnt suck too much, i had the best drumming lesson of all time, i got to go massive on the drums!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

aaaaand thats about it

gonna go now and......stalk.......lennie.......and......carl....

Love ya all!

Love Lilly


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Fruit salad...

well, my friends, i had a very nice weekend, so nice, you dont get to hear about it.... not cause it was illegal or anything, just cause im too lazy and i was too drunk to recolect it all in one sitting.

but i wasnt drunk ENOUGH for my day at work today.... that i can recolect to the umpteenth degree....

it all started when i got up, i was sooo happy, i hadnt sneezed at all (bloody hayfever) i was awake enough to see (doesnt happen very often) i got to the bathroom and i reached for my deoderant... and knocked over my FREAKENG expensive dafidoff cool water woman parfume.... it smashed..... i could have cried. so i painstakingly cleaned it up, and continued on with getting ready... and reached for my deoderant one more time.... CRASH BANG WALLAWALLA WASHINGTON!!! damn it....

then i was late to my walk to work with my workmate... which made us lateish to work... which meant i was behind straight off the rank...... then for some reason, the fates conspired against me and i had the worst clients all day.... i wont say much in fear that it will jepardise my already scary job, but in person ill tell you all about it. and to make things worse we were running late which added fuel to the already nasty clientelle list.... then the office kept screwing up my daylist and not fixing it for me..... i had to run even more late running around trying to fix it up... then i needed to find a cd... i asked them to help but to no avail... that would have interupted their already busy day of FREAKING NOTHING!!!! (id be wearing a pms resistant coat right about now people)

my boss also changed my rostered day off from wed to tuesday with a DAYs notice... so no bikini wax or doctors appointments for me..... grrrr

late for lunch, late leaving work, damn it....... but my work mate whom i walk with cheered me up and bought me some lollie bananas (the nice soft kind, they are my absolute favourite) that made me smile

the walk home made me calm down a bit as well, and my muffin cheered me up by dropping by and doing some lewid movements on my spiky fit ball.... hehehe

and my baby doll also made me laugh by coming up with some wicked stripper names for us.... (not a subject brought up by me, for once!!! *a sound of shock and awe arises from the reader*) her's would be cherry delight, an awesome name! i couldnt think of one for me, so cherry came up with *strawberry champagne* totally awesome!!!!

so we have cherries, strawberries and lolly bananas.... a total fruit salad of a day....

well i am going to pms at some random shop clerk... just cause i can....

Love you all and thanks for listening



Saturday, December 03, 2005

my breasts can predict the weather....

well, not really, they can tell when its about to rain..... well to be honest, they can tell when it is raining....

and i recon there is a thirty percent chance its raining right now....

Monday, November 28, 2005

will blog for food...

Well, we all new it was going to happen, hell i think the blind man down the street saw it coming. I am so going to lose my job.

what a great start to such a happy blog entry. I hurt.... but i should probably start from the begginning ..... *wavery remenising lines as we fade to the past*

well, as we all know, im not the healthiest puppy of the litter. i have never hidden that fact, but it is getting so much worse.

i have been sleeping alot lately, like, waaaay more than usual, but it doesnt seem enough, i seem to be blacking out for very short periods of time, which is just scary in itself, but since it has been getting worse, i have managed to *spaz out* and hit my head of the ironing board table (iron fell off and is now broken)

that was more embarrasing then anything else, but just recently had another *spaz attack* and fell down some stairs, and i must have landed and hit the back of my neck, and i have now injured my neck as a result. it hurts really bad and the doc said it will be uber painful for the next couple of days... i will be useless at work since i cant even move, let alone drive.

and that will be the end of my job. From the way my boss sounded, it came across as if i had planned to hurt and nearly kill myself... she didnt even worry if i was ok. and i dont think i can work for someone as incensitive as that. if she doesnt care about her employees when injured at home, imagine what would happen at work. it is really a shame too because i had made so many nice friends. that and i love my job, but if these *spaz attacks* keep happening, then i cant do that job anyway, i would be a liability.

what can i say but.... what a buggeryfuck of a pickle i have before me.

so i had to have 7 vials of yummy blood taken, and more tests to see if i am narcoleptic, or epileptic, or a lost cause.... or all of the above.

right now, life does not look as pretty as it once does, and that makes me a sad lil pil.

but enought about that, i have waaay more to be upset and sad and emotional about.

get your pms raincoats cause im gonna be pouring it out over your heads..... ew that didnt sound right at all. just ew....

where to start..... oh yes.... where is the love? why is it that i am foolishly still thinkin that love exists, love it out there, just waiting for you to trip, stumble, nearly fall and be caught up into its arms, look up into its eyes and BAM! love.

is it just me or is love dead? oh dont get me wrong, sex isnt dead, wakers arent dead, perverts arent dead, and pig headed sweaty gorrilas arent dead.

i get all starrie eyed when i think of love....think like cartoonie huge waterie eyes with big waterie stars, and a wobblie lip. that is me thinking of love.

my idea of love in the beggining has nothing to do with sex. all i want is someone who when i meet them, we could chat and laugh and hang around eachother, and i know in my mind that they are not in it for sex. yes, i can see though most of you think you are being really sneaky and suave, but i know the look.... the same look is given to a steak strung up infront of a starving lion herd....

like all women, i wanna be wooed!!! i want romantic dates with movies and dinner and flowers, i want walks along starlit beaches (yeah i dont like the beach usually, but it is the principle of the thing) i want to be surprised, swept of my feet, i want to be out all night and have no idea what the time is because i was just swept up in the moment!!!!!!

i want dancing and holding and touching!!! i want smoochies and adoration!!!!! damn it i want the world!!! i want the whole world, give it to my now! *cough* bugger sorry i wandered off into a willywonka song there for a sec. another spazzy attack probably. my neck hurts

i am so sick to death of men after just sex, or just to cop a feel, or whatever is on their mind, and i am so sick of girlies using me as a tourist spot, a nice place to visit, but i would never stay there.

i am uber sick of it. i am beggining to think i will just give up. maybe there is noone out there for me, no one out there to make me feel special.

is it hopeless everyone? or is it just how i feel at the moment because im not well?

it makes me sad, im going to stop thinking of it now.

what else can i think of? lets see what he have covered so far

impending doom
uncaring people
what love is to me and how i am not getting any

hrmmm what else is there?

Oh my god i just saw an add with the wiggles in it and wagges the dog was in it and I SO DIDNT LOOK LIKE WAGGES!!!! is nothing sacred?!?!

my blood taking hole hurts.....and so does my neck

im sleepie again... this sucks

crap i forgot to eat again.... aw well, i might make some crackers.... of the prawn variety.

well my computer is running uber slow, and i think i feel a sleepie attack coming on. share the love with someone close, and dont forget to hug my t-shirt today.

lotsa love

a sad lonely lilly pilly....


Sunday, November 13, 2005, a mount olympus among the single and horny...

praise and credit where it is due, people! i swear without this site, and shop, my poor little mind would have snapped like Tommy at the end of Friday the 13th number 5...

ive been out all weekend, im tired, my feet hurt so much that i can hardly walk, my head goes bwah bwah and i have the song from TISM running through my brain .... everyone else has had more sex than me...

its not from lack of trying, i can tell you that, it is thanks to the womanly fairy making her monthly visit... sigh

but right now i have watched friday the 13th numbers 4,5, and 6, now i am watching the great muppet caper. good fun!!!

i will write more next time, i swear!

lotsa love lilly


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Fools give you reasons, wise men never try...

sounds rather profound doesnt it.... it is actually a line from the muppet show, sung by Bert, you know the one, from bert and ernie.

yes'm my mate just bought the muppet show series one, and i am currently having marital relations with it with my eyes....

dont ask, ive been coming up with some scary analogies of late.

Well what has been happening of late, well, i havent updated out of the sheer fact that my computer is having a hissy fit and hasnt been very nice to me lately... it could be because its a hunka i bought off ebay... that and i have no idea what to do to keep my computer happy, downloading porn probably isnt healthy for it. neither is switching it off at the button and not the proper way (im lethargic, so sue me)

so i apologise to all who wanted to hear from me, i am very very sorry, and i am sure you and i can come to some sort of..... compromise ;) you know who im talking too..... @>--->---

*sings loud and off key strumming extremely out of tune guitar*OOOOOOOOOH melly, you came and you gave me a punchie, cause you hate the song i am singing!!!!

OOOOOOh NACEY!! You came and you gave me a snoggie!
and i love you so much, OH NACEY!!!

OOOOOOOOOh melly, you came and you stabbed me in the eye,
cause you dont like my singing oh melly!

OOOOOOH nacey! you came and you drew me a picture....
and i've never felt so special oh nacey!

muahahahaaaaaaa!!!!! that was fun! that cheered me up emmensley!

Weell i also had a drumming lesson today, i havent drummed in AGES but i up and decided i would start again. i had uber fun and my teacher said i was a show off! that means im goood! WOOOHOOO!!

oh oh i have a good one liner from the muppet show!!! "her eyes said "yes yes" but her face had no nose! BWAHAHAHA!!! im not sure why that if funny, but i found it pretty funny!

well i have a tummy ache, so i am off to bed with a glass of that fizzy stuff that makes you feel better... its acutally made my left shoulder hurt..... dont ask, lots of buggeryfucks thanks to incompetant doctors.

well i love ya

and leave ya



Wednesday, November 02, 2005

*BOOM* AAAAAAAAH my heart!

well it was a balmy 26 degrees down here in Tassie... anyone who has ever visited or lived here knows that we, as Taswiegens, live close to or under the ozone layer hole, so when it gets hot, it gets harshly hot. But today was nice and balmy....

untill it started raining....

I'm not sure what happened to me, i used to like thunder storms... but i guess one day it took me off guard and now i get like a puppy dog and start to freak out.

so its raining heffalumps and woozles as i sit here inside with the fan on in ma undergroobers far far away from all the windows.... dont bother ringing cause i aint picking up that phone.

now, after a whole bunch of comments saying two of the same things.... everyone else likes to dress up and every one wants to see my paintings.... i thought, what the hey... id better give my babes what they want! so i went and took some picicha's of my experimentations of shade (the ones that are finished anyhoo!) so here they are! BY DEMAND!!!

This is the one i have ALMOST finished... it still looks a bit rough around the edges, but it should be finished soon. i had to take this picture standing on a chair... the wheat bix box was for artistic purposes, yup, very avant guarde of me...

This was no easy feat i tell you, there were so many times i just had to stop and walk away because i was just confusing myself with the colours. at one point i was almost in tears thinking that it wouldnt work and that i had ruined the picture. the mouth was almost my waterloo. there were moments i had just been staring at it for so long that i was picking faults and thinking it looked too much like she had a moustache, that the colour of the mouth was just not going to work.... but now i look at it, i think it came out quite nice.

This peice i really really like, it was one i wasnt all that impressed with when it was on paper. but now that it is right there, all painted. im quiet happy with it. its trippy.

now THIS was a peice of art not completed, will probably never be completed. the story behind this peice was my college years, my art teacher and i seriously didnt like eachother.... she was the type of person who would ask you to draw something, you would show her, and she would critisize, then pick up a pen and draw all over it with the "improvements" she wanted to see. im not sure about anyone else, but that used to piss me off something shocking. THIS IS MY ART, NOT YOURS!!! suggest, dont destroy the original.
So one day i did a piece (not sure where it is now, i think i gave it to someone because they really liked it.) that was quite big, of an innocent looking cartoon girl, with a machette, with some writing on it, depicting "sometimes, i believe they would let her get away with murder."
it was just a muck around peice, but a cute peice all the same. she critisized it, saying she wanted the writing to be different, she didnt like the writing. then i saw her move for the pen.... that FUCKING pen.... so i stood infront of the piece, crossed my arms and said "no, we wont be changing a damn thing, ive signed it, its mine and i have spoken." Gutsy? yes, Stupid? you betcha. ive never seen a person look so challenged in my life... oooh she hated me. but i felt i had won a personal little battle of my own.

Then came the war. the art show came upon us, and i was so proud, my family came, my friends came... all to see my picture mounted HALF BEHIND THE FIRE HOSE!!!!! i could have killed... no judge in this country would have convicted me in that time... the writing she wanted changed was hidden behind a big ass red fire hose reel. my mother tried to comfort me, my friends tried to hold be back from ripping the place apart, and i did my best not to let her seem me cry.

She was satan, that was for sure. but this peice, this pretty unfinished peice, was graffitied on but some dumbass who had smoked one to many joints and thought it was a good idea to sign his arty name all over my work. till that day, i was niether here nor there on the topic of graffiti as an art form... now i know it was not an art form if the person who does it DELIBERATELY DISTROYES someone elses to "tag" something. an artist would respect another artists work, not set out to destroy it.

but i digress from my point, my "art teacher" just took one look, laughed, and made a rather spiteful comment that i choose not to repeat. so, it is not finished due to the fact that after that i was banned from the art supply room... for reasons i choose not to repeat... though i think i won the war... god it brings a smile to my face thinking about it.

well anyway, i hope this quenches your thirst for art.

and on another note, Melody muffin got her provisional license today... so i guess me and my full license arent needed anymore....*sniff* but congrats anyhoo!

and another note (god all these notes and ill have enough for a whole book!) i havent been at all well, my doctor has put it down to the stressful and hostile environment in which i work in. so it looks like im looking for a new job... its too bad, i really do like the people i work with, and my job isnt a bad one, i like it, but lately it have become to stressful and too hard for me to handle on my own. so wish me luck people in hunting for a job, i will continue my work until i find something nice and calm for me.

i am just sick of being sick, and if it is work causing it, then i guess i have no choice.

but enough about that, i have things to do, people to surprise! things to organise!

i love you all and will update again soon!

Lilly xoxox

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Trick or Treat!!!!!

god i love halloween!!! it the one time of year i get into the all american spirit and just wanna dress up, eat candy and watch scary movies.

God i love playing dress up!!! anyone who is anyone *that knows me* knows i love it to death! and i am uber little fairy freak when it comes to dress up, i guess i never really grew out of it.

*cue wavey fade out into remenisance into the past*

God the best time i ever remember when i was a kid was being chosen in Prep to be a tight rope walker in our make believe circus. i had a red leotard, and on one arm was piece of wavy material running along my arm and attached to my side, like a sort of wing, and it had sequins with silk thread tasslie thingies..... and i had to walk elegantly around a hula hoop on the floor... god i loved that time!

but anyway, there was no dress up this year. i had a serious fight with the flu just recently, along with being thrust into the knowledge that i react uber badly to antibiotics (ill save the gorey details for another time, preferably when you have just eaten something bright and sparkly that will look really gross when it comes back up...) so i didnt feel particularily pretty.

so i organised my time by going to the shop and buying some skittles and some m&m's, some absolute cut (it came with the coolest bottle opener/coaster of all time, i just had to own its prettyness) and renting some scary movies i have never seen before, because i would prefer to watch and be scared by something i have never seen before then something i have, that and i have this cute little fault, where i like to rent movies no one has ever heard of, because i figure one day, after sifening through all the crap, i may just find a little diamond in the rough. (ill let you know how that goes)

so i rented "sickle", "darkness falls","faculty","hellraiser #something" and "the skulls" (cause my flatmate hadnt seen it.)

so we all know that the skulls is a good movie, depending on who you ask. i dont mind it, its pretty cool.

then we went on to the faculty, not bad, but not good, i had seen it before, but not for ages, so me thoughts i'd do a bit of perving on elizia wood, and that other guy in it, i forget his name, but he is pretty damn hot. not to meantion the eyecandy females wandering around looking vunerable. good movie.

next.... came sickle.... i cant think of a better way of describing this movie then the opposite of porn trying to have a plot..... it was a plot that was suffocated to death with porn.... i couldnt even watch more than 20 minutes of it. it was the reason that horny adolecent teens should not have video camera's. or ideas.

next came darkenss falls.... i totally forgot i had ever watched it, it was a good movie, scary and all, but i had already seen it, so i was quite dissapointeed with my jellie-fied brain meats.

next, i am watching the hellraiser movie as we speak, or type or whatever. its pretty gruesome. but unfortunately the only good horror movie i rented. sad isnt it? i havent jumped so far.

i think next time i might just rent all the grudge/ring/dark water movies. Now THERE are some movies that make me squeal like a misrepresented mobster who's only option of not getting the chair is to sing like a canary.

Oh well, i guess i was scared, just not in the way i thought i would be...

on another note, i have dragged out my ol' paintings, you know the ones... no actually you dont know, but you SHOULD know, you uninformed personage. I have several unfinished huge ass black and white paintings i started back in college.... i was toying with shading in its boldest form. i was told i was "too namby pamby" with my shading and colors..(hrm could that be attributed to my COLOR BLINDNESS?!?!) so as a concious objector would do, i went to another extreme... i just havent finished it yet.

so anyway, i have draged them out and started again, and i am having the most fun ever! i may even finish one today! ooooh i am getting all tingly!

i may even get as creative as to take some pictures and post them... i know i know empty promises, i always do.... but this time it might be different. you must always have hope little hobbit man... without hope, dragons with scary cloaked figures will try and eat you..... heh, that would be pretty funny, if, say whoever had the ring from lord of the rings (not elija wood though, he has a career to continue) got eaten by the dragon thingie.... could you imagin lord saragon (or whatever his name is) waiting behind it with a big pooper scooper and a rubber glove... HAHAHA!

sorry im really tired, couldnt sleep, clown'll eat me.

anyway i will chat later yall..

love lilly


Saturday, October 22, 2005

Dont make me full of chocolate!

so i went to the royal hobart show today, i saw baby chickens, baby rats, baby guinea pigs, baby piggy pigs.

i patted a baby sheep and was attaked and mugged by a baby goat, saw a baby miniature pony with a miniature afro, a baby cow... a not so baby cow, a baby bogan

i ate fairy floss, kicked the ATM machine for not working, saw the gayest dogs in the world strutting their stuff for what i can only assume was the title of being the gayest dog in the world (there was hair spray involved, dont ask)

i got a show bag that was full of chocolate when i bought it.... now my tummy hurts....

all i can say is that i am glad i went to the gym thismorning, and i wont need dinner.

so much sugar, so little time .... and my teeth are starting to hurt

bounce bounce bounce bounce - that is the sound of me off the walls

now my tummy hurts again but i have this overwhelming urge to finish the bag of crystalized sugar flossie stuff

ah the complications of life - when did it get so complicated? tell me!

well im off to play who wants to be a millionare with my family - its really fun cause they all get really drunk and i win by default! huzzah!

well i will fill you in on the nights events tomorow, love ya all

lilly pilly


Tuesday, October 18, 2005

10 things i hate about men

first, before i start my well deserved rant, i would love to say happy birthday for today/tomorow (depending on which time zone you are residing in....planes not inclusive) to Americajay. for all who read this blog, this is the person to praise for the fact i even update it... my head of reminding me when i am being lazy-man.

happy birthday!!!

now on to that well deserved and overly advertised rant.

who wants to hear the great cocktail of anti insomniacs lately put into my drink just this friday just gone.

the blood results are back and they go like this

flunitrazepam - used for severe insomnia only in last resort cases - causes amnesia especially mixed with alcohol.

doxylamine succinate - again for insomnia

midazolam hydrochloride - it is commonly used for short general anesthetics proceedures - (usually injected...morons)

nitrazepam - anti insomniac - transient amnesia, should also not be mixed with alcohol

now you dont need a dictionary to figure out that i am never drinking anything not in a sippy cup from now on.

this is twice in the last 2 months. if it wasn't for the fact that i ran into a buddy of mine, i would have stayed out later, and probably ended up someones unconsious biach.

now i have to have several blood tests, an ultrasound for my kidneys...(apparently lots of crappy drugs and much much alcohol can make your kidneys go all screwie).

but i digress from my point

what was it again?

ah i dunno

i will talk later, hopefully about something more happy

lots of love



Saturday, October 08, 2005

i haven't had a cunt all night, drinkstable!

wow.. 2 days drinking surely takes its toll.....of DRUGS!!!! i am quickly running out of panadol.... not to meantion grog!!

went out with ma mutha and sista and auntie today, really hungry for some grease, ordered bacon and eggs.... and i couldnt keep the first bite down! it was uber depressing towatch the hungry hoards gobble up my grease! ah well, i hope to be able to eat solids again one day!

so for now i just have to keep it up with my empty carbs! (*alcohol)

anyhoo, last night was fun... i saved a girl who O.D'd in the bathroom.... i was the only sober *coughenoughcough* one to climb over the door and unlock it and fireman carry the vomiting unconcious beauty out to the bouncers.

sorta ruined my night so i left it at that.

fun times!

Friday, October 07, 2005

I'm turning 21 and there is no excuse for how I am going to behave


Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! im turning 21! in the fine tradition of the ages, i started drinking yesterday....and today, i met a friend for coffee.... coffee being a large ass cup - o - cino, an orange juice and 4 panadol....

then i went and had a few thing waxed....and lets just say your CLEAR for landin'! a few things tinted and tanned.

there is nothing more refreshing than getting naked infront of someone you have never met, and having them poke and prod... then WAX... pain and hangover, what a mornin! then there was the tanning.... again pretty much naked....nuthin but my pretty diamonte g-banger. and now i have pretty tanned lungs.....cough cough

but it was all worth it my friends!

i must be lookin pretty hot because as soon as i left, i was invited to a party of 4 guys i have never met! score one for lillypilly!!! woot!

so anyway im hitting the town tonight and tomorow night and all are invited! im not organising, its my birthday and i dont have too! just be oot when i am!

speaking of oot..... i heard the WORST russian accent last night! it was on smallville...... speaking of smallville Tom Welling is freaking HOT!!!! i had an argument with the local comic book guy about whether the guy in the superman movie is more ripped then tom..... NEVER!!!!!! i will never bow to that! TOM WELLING is the real superman.....(after christopher reeve of course, no one could ever replace christopher reeve in my heart)

anyway back to mitxpiddlelick or whatever his name was.... worst accent EVER!!!!! ill tell you what, after i foomble the boel, ill coum down to your cloob and have soooom vudka. sorry but he should have gone and taken a lesson from the bad guy in xxx. now THERE was a sexy accent. i dont care what the hell you look like but if you speak like him, i would do everything to you!

now speaking of triple x (the good one, not the crappy second one) vin diesel will allways be xxx.... no amount of crappy story plot holes could ever erase him from our memories!!!!!!!!

i mean, f-ing hell! he kicked so much ass in the first one, and pretty much took down a russian terrorist group on his little lonesome, then in the second film, how did they pay homage to the greatness? "oh he diesd"

damn them

im off!

love ya all


Wednesday, September 28, 2005

ink me up, hon

why is it so impossible for a good lookin, upper classy chick to be taken seriously in a tattoo parlour?

this is my predicament... a friend and I decided we were going to get our tattoo's this weekend. i have wanted my tattoo for a long time and have the design on hand, in fact, its right here! tada! my friend wanted a little dragon fly to acompany her chinese symbol and was just happy to choose one at the parlour.

but what happened to us today was this....

tattoo parlour no. 1. "hi we would like to book for two tattoo's..."
"so what? you are booking for two? you two?!"
"...erm....yes, that is generally what two imply' anyway, my friend would like a dragonfly about 2-3 cm height and width and she is hap"
*interrupts*"well you might as well ask me to draw a dot on her!"
"i beg your pardon?"
"its way to small, i can't do that detail that small!"
"riiiiiiight, so anyway, i have my own design an..."
*interrupts again* "well what is it, darls?"
"umm, its two blue birds an"
*interrupts again* "again i jus cant do that detail so small"
"but i haven't told you the si.... ah forget it, im not going to go to someone
who cannot do simple detail in his art."

tattoo parlour no.2
"hi, we would like to book for two tattoo's"
"you both?"
", that *again* generally means the two of us"
"are you sure? you two dont really seem like the type..."
*give him a funny look*
*elbows corpulent co-worker* "when luv?"
"this saturday if possible"
*without looking at appointment book* "nah we are fully booked all days for two weeks..."
"then what was the point in asking then?"

tattoo parlour no 3.
"its CLOSED?!?, at 2 in the afternoon? wtf mate?!?"

and that is how many parlours are in my little quiet not so mountain town.....

fuck it, im going to go to melbourne now to get mine, bugger these small minded drug fucked meanies.

but anyway on a nicer note, my friend mel has the cutest picture on her blog! you may want to check it out @

love ya all, blow me kisses



Tuesday, September 27, 2005

some people got it... and some people after 15 beers think they got it

like my heading says... some people got it, and some people after 15 beers think they got it, but really have just got a hold of MY ASS!!!

dont get me wrong, i dont mind, i am not like most girlie girls. but damn.... i have bruises! (and stubble rash but we wont go into that...)

enough about that, lets get into scamantics! i have been contemplating.... and you know what that means!

i was thinking.... and it hurt...nah just kidding, i was thinking about those scary catholic wankers who go to the funerals of gay teenage boys who have recently died and boycott it by standing outside with picket signs and screaming at the boys family that he is going to suffer in hell for all eternity...

i was thinking back to that part in the bible that says do not judge others for i will do the judging in heaven.... really this was a way of god saying "hey, by doing my job you are pretty much saying to me that you dont recon im good enough to do it myself, and i am god so SUCK ON THAT!

why is it that they only see what they want to see? they are stupid

and that is how the cookie crumbles

lots of love

lilly pilly

Monday, September 19, 2005

is the moonshinin' business that lucrative?

i must be in the wrong proffession people. aparently there is money to be made by bootlegging grog. or so that is what the movie "dukes of hazzard" has lead me to believe...and when has a movie ever led me wrong?!

so i apologise for my rant on thursday, but it was well worth it i tell you. it felt good i tell you! and you know how sometimes you rant, and then like a couple of days later you get a pang of guilt and think "oh maybe i was a little harsh..." well i can happily tell you that that is NOT applicable in my situation! its still just as fubar as it was when it happened.

but enough! we dont want to dwell on the past now do we? DO WE?!!?

well i had a nice weekend everyone, how about you? anyone else lucky enough to be on the recieving end of a spiked drink? i know i was.

i would like to put it out there to you guys out there who are thinking that spiking someones drink is going to get you a definate "lay".... WRONG!!! sooooo very very wrong....

i would like to put forth my argument in the way of a pretty arranged power point presentation, but i think that would be the tacky end of sarcasm, dont you?
so this will have to do for you people...

1. most females travel in packs of at minimum 2... unless you are planning to drag two unconsious body's home, i really think that you are wasting your time...

2. i would like to point out that most females arent stupid, for example, if i have only had 3 cruisers in 4 hours and i start having difficulty with speech and mobility, and start feeling like i have downed a bottle of tequila, i am going to excuse myself and get the big ass bouncer who happens to be a really good friend of mine to call me a cab and beat the crap out of any male that comes remotly close to my being.

3. did you try buying a drink for them minus the rowie's? charm will get you everywhere...

4. did you try asking? hello!? statistical chances are that there are at least one female in the vicinity that is a willing participant in your sleazy sceme.

5. two words.... extacy tablets....

now that i have made my very jaded point...jaded because i do not like making a fool of myself.... like passing out in taxi's, walking head on into telephone poles, sending a text message that was meant for my boyfriend, to the really wrong person at 12 at night, ruining a perfectly good pair of shoes...... grrrrrrr

well im off to bed peoples, have a better week than that goat in the first jurrasic park movie... you know, the one in the t-rex pen?

love you all


Thursday, September 15, 2005

it puts the lotion on its skin...

well some days it just keeps raining shit....

and when i awoke thismorning, it was pissing down. here's how it went down...

after waking at 6.00am and having a mental battle with myself for half an hour to get up, "its ok" i told myself "lilly, i know you feel like there is an anvil just waiting to drop on you, but it will be ok, you'll see"


I get to work to find a rats nest where my work station used to be. "no worries, i can fix this" i thought, as i dove in an did three times the work i usually do.

then later that day, i got a "formal warning"....... "im sorry, but a formal warning for what?" i ask... the low down, for being sick....

"and what did you want me to do to correct this exactly?"

low down, thats not their problem.....

im sorry, but YES it is! you obviously have a problem with me, you have enough of a problem to issue a warning, but as i can translate it, you don't care how or if i fix it?

....aren't bosses just fluffy cuddly caring bundle of sugary goodness? i know mine is.

ill skip all the other crappy things that happened and get straight to my dropping a peice of heavy expensive equipment, then being told that if it was broken i would have to "contribute" to replacing it....

no, thats fine, just worry about the stupid thing, and not the fact that i BROKE A NAIL!!! to most, that may sound a little crappy... but this is ACRYLIC!!! and that means it took half my nail with it. ouch...

but i am still smiling and still going strong with my head held high.

that was my vent for the day.

thank you for listenting


Tuesday, September 13, 2005

if you've got any PMS, fling it now


damn pressurised planes....ow...ow...ow

i will bet you that most of you out there dont realise that due to the pressurised thingie and stress and such, some unlucky females get*shifts uncomfotably* ...... ow...ow...ow....

and not only am i blessed with such a romantic occurence, i am also blessed with (to quote mr. doctor) "a lowered immune system due to great amount of stress that can trigger depression not to meantion that i catch every teeny tiny bug that i come near". ok, i dummed it down a little...

but enough! enough mister doctor, i banish you! i banish you and your porche....and your big house....and your clean clothes....and your easily perscribed antibiotics....and other perscription drugs.... *coughjerkcough*

i forget what i was on about.... damn it.....

well i will announce that i have a bad case of itchy feet.... and by that i do not mean that i have a foot condition....i dont care what my mother told you i do not have a foot condition!

it means, oh eternally thick one, that the goldfish has outgrown the pond, and has decided it was intended for bigger things....

im thinking of hitting europe, keeping in mind that like the goldfish, i change my mind every three seconds... which is a myth that i would looove to point out how stuupid it is, but some other time....yup... some other time.

so it will probably be next year some time i plan it.... weeeeeeee im getting pretty happy thinking about it, i tell you!

so now all i have to do is plan...and possibly find someone to come with me

well that is all from me today

im off to bed for the millionth time today.

love you all


Monday, September 12, 2005

the banana's taste better on the other side of the fence

well im back! thank you to all that thought i had fallen off a cliff and died. i am fine, i have been in qld for a whole week, shopping, drinking, floating on my back in a heated pool dreamily gazing through palm tree's onto a star studded sky....

now i am not going to hide the fact that i am uber depressed to be back, since i landed yesterday in 6 degrees of fucking cold made much more enjoyable by the inpenetrable rain that continued on through to today...its dark,cold and miserable... woot.

now don't get me wrong i missed my friends terribly, but my god i am depressed.

but let us not dwell, lets go on to the sharing of pictures that i took.... now let me see...
this is the view from my beautiful balcony.... sigh...

this is an albino kangaroo... he loves hugs and skrittchy scratch scratches behind his ears... i call him moofie... for no particular reason at all. this is harriet (no i didn't name her...what a poofie name...i like moofie better) she is 174 years old and was owned by charles darwin...she eats really funnie...

this is a cuddlie claw ridden koala... slightly related to the rare tasmanian drop bear....

this is a big ass crocodile, with his less kick ass girlfriend, it was funny to watch the zoo people trying to mow the lawn around their pool....hehehe

and last but not least... lilly the python! isnt she cute!!!!

well i think im gonna be sick now, so ill leave you to mull the picitcha's i took, i do have more but my mummie has them.

love you all

love lilly

p.s. its my birthday in less than a month, i turn twenty one...just a reminder

Sunday, August 28, 2005

rehab is for quitters

well im back! thank you to all who cared, but im fine now, exept for a little yellowish tinge and pain in the glaiven.

oh and just a heads up, if you are on the list for a liver or kidney transplant... lets just say id put a bit of research in to whenst yonder organs came from and what abuse it has thus taken.

If you haven't taken in all the parodies and metaphores and other words that mean dancing around the point, i have thusly just recovered from a bout of food poisoning.... (what.... alcohol is a food...shaddup)

but after two days recovery and a bucket later, i am feeling much better, watching a new simpsons on channel 6...or 10...meh some channel. now that i think of it, it is probably a dvd...or a tape... oh well


so, i was thinking the other day that i really need to get out more so i am off to the sunny qld next saturday.

Sweeet... i hope to get some happy snaps to share with ya'all

but untill then, i bid thee adieu!

lots of love


Saturday, August 27, 2005

my little hangover, my little hangover

dont even ask...

instead of whinging and bitching about what is most certainly a clear definition of self poisoning, i will just skip back to my days before hand...

my wednesday started with a beautitian appointment to have things plucked, waxed and dyed... a typical day in the life of a woman.

then came my three hour hair appointment, and i must say, it looks funky as! the day i find my camera under all the crap, i will take a picture and show you all.

im sorry but my mind is dead at the moment, when the alcohol is out of my system, i will beginagain

hehehe branigan beginagain.....


Monday, August 22, 2005

The thing you need to know about edible green body paint

it tastes like sugar coated latex and if green in colour you can bet your ass that it will stain your skin so bad that soap will not remove it, neither will makeup remover...only mineral turpentine will save you now....

plus its stupid.... i would much prefer the candy bra and panties i saw whilst shopping the other day.... think those candy necklaces and bracelets with sugarie candied strung along some elastic... but a bra and panties.... mmmmm ....

but i am a little hesitant for 3 reasons....

1. the panties were a g-string, and ill be damned if someone is going to consume something that has gone where no man has gone before...

2. now i have consumed candy necklaces before, and i know for a face that you BITE and CHEW the candy off.... something that is that close to my "innocence" is NOT going to be CHEWED!!!!

3. im not the one going to be eating it.... so it hardly seems fair....

now i will leave you to ponder that for a while, only because i let Brent cook tea on his own, and he has managed to set the kitchen on fire, by leaving dirty pots on the stove and he turned on the wrong one, LEFT it alone and now the flat is full of carsnogenic smoke.... mmmm cancer....

i will be back, a little charred and covered in soot, but back none the less


Sunday, August 21, 2005

Almost Famous

I apologise for not updating my "blog" as much as i should. my reasons being that i didnt realise that anyone would enjoy reading it that they would want current updates.

so to you all, i am sorry.

now back on to it, i feel like i have more to say today. i mean, nothing has happened, but i believe that i have the brain meats to come up with something.

well for starters, i am sorry to all who keep going to my old website/blog. geocities decided that it would be a hoot to change how i update it, and being blonde in origin (i think that is my natural colour.... i havent seen what it is in like 6 years..... best to keep it that way) i have neither the mind power/time to figure it out, nor do i have the "pull" to covert a first year computing uni student to do it for me regularily (yes i am still talking about my website, and not some second thing)

so i will use what grey matter i have that still has an electric current surging through it to put a link to this page...... so i estimate that i should have that done in about a year or so....

now back to me..... well i have a new gym!!! if you had read my last website, i was at an aquatic center gym. that was fun while it lasted but i got bored with the same testosterone filled, mucle bound, making "pouty looks at themselves in the mirrors" guys (translation: they were more interested in themselves to notice anything remotely female, meaning ME GODDAMN IT!) and i also got so sick of swimming in kiddie pee and there are only so many "accidental child drownings" one can pull off before they start to catch on to me. so i thought i would try my luck elsewhere. and i found it! a hardly used gym with pool and SAUNA!!!! mmm i spent 3 hours there on friday after work.

I also bought a new "g-banger" with frillies and diamonties! so cuuuute!! ive always been a bit partial to the Kazer brand.

I saw "The skeleton Key" sorry but for once i would love to see a movie of the horror genre where the leading character acts like they have seen at least one horror film in their lives and say "gee, this is really f**ked up, im gonna get the f**k out of here" as apposed to trying to solve the spooky mystery and going into that dark spooky room and investigating that strange noise with a faulty torch in my white chestybond and panties with no bra and its cold so you can make out my pert little nipples....

speaking of which, i saw "darkness falls". it wasnt as crap as i imagined it would be. but it also makes me stand by my point of "im your mother and i will investigate your room without switching the light on and yet still say everything is ok, even though i cant see shit in the dark"

and im sorry, but if anyone really thought about it, if you were in most of the situations that these people are in, i wouldnt be all brave, i would be the one cowering in the corner, rocking slowly back and forth muttering "there's no place like home" repeatedly... i am trying to interlectualize HORROR MOVIES!!!! that is like the catholic church trying to justify the reason behind the crusades.... it think i will take a leaf from their book and claim ignorance. what crusades? what slaughtering and raping of innocent foreigners in the name of God? what is an apology and what is this word "reperation" you speak of?

Well im spent.... i promise to update more often if you promise to teach me how to put pictures on this thing.....

lotsa lurve

Lilly Pilly


Thursday, August 18, 2005

a rostered day off from what?

welcome to my first ever post in my blog. Actually, if i was to get technical on yo' ass, its my second one... and as we can obviously see, my life has hit an hysterically boring plateu since i began my blog.

i have done nothing but work my ass off, then gymming, then crashing when i get home. and my rostered day off was a total joke.

infact i think i will do this another day when something amazing happens i guess...

mmmmm coma

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

First impressions last....

why when I write that title, do I think of someone riding a bike, hitting a curb and flying over the handlebars and head first into wet cement?