will blog for food...

Well, we all new it was going to happen, hell i think the blind man down the street saw it coming. I am so going to lose my job.

what a great start to such a happy blog entry. I hurt.... but i should probably start from the begginning ..... *wavery remenising lines as we fade to the past*

well, as we all know, im not the healthiest puppy of the litter. i have never hidden that fact, but it is getting so much worse.

i have been sleeping alot lately, like, waaaay more than usual, but it doesnt seem enough, i seem to be blacking out for very short periods of time, which is just scary in itself, but since it has been getting worse, i have managed to *spaz out* and hit my head of the ironing board table (iron fell off and is now broken)

that was more embarrasing then anything else, but just recently had another *spaz attack* and fell down some stairs, and i must have landed and hit the back of my neck, and i have now injured my neck as a result. it hurts really bad and the doc said it will be uber painful for the next couple of days... i will be useless at work since i cant even move, let alone drive.

and that will be the end of my job. From the way my boss sounded, it came across as if i had planned to hurt and nearly kill myself... she didnt even worry if i was ok. and i dont think i can work for someone as incensitive as that. if she doesnt care about her employees when injured at home, imagine what would happen at work. it is really a shame too because i had made so many nice friends. that and i love my job, but if these *spaz attacks* keep happening, then i cant do that job anyway, i would be a liability.

what can i say but.... what a buggeryfuck of a pickle i have before me.

so i had to have 7 vials of yummy blood taken, and more tests to see if i am narcoleptic, or epileptic, or a lost cause.... or all of the above.

right now, life does not look as pretty as it once does, and that makes me a sad lil pil.

but enought about that, i have waaay more to be upset and sad and emotional about.

get your pms raincoats cause im gonna be pouring it out over your heads..... ew that didnt sound right at all. just ew....

where to start..... oh yes.... where is the love? why is it that i am foolishly still thinkin that love exists, love it out there, just waiting for you to trip, stumble, nearly fall and be caught up into its arms, look up into its eyes and BAM! love.

is it just me or is love dead? oh dont get me wrong, sex isnt dead, wakers arent dead, perverts arent dead, and pig headed sweaty gorrilas arent dead.

i get all starrie eyed when i think of love....think like cartoonie huge waterie eyes with big waterie stars, and a wobblie lip. that is me thinking of love.

my idea of love in the beggining has nothing to do with sex. all i want is someone who when i meet them, we could chat and laugh and hang around eachother, and i know in my mind that they are not in it for sex. yes, i can see though most of you think you are being really sneaky and suave, but i know the look.... the same look is given to a steak strung up infront of a starving lion herd....

like all women, i wanna be wooed!!! i want romantic dates with movies and dinner and flowers, i want walks along starlit beaches (yeah i dont like the beach usually, but it is the principle of the thing) i want to be surprised, swept of my feet, i want to be out all night and have no idea what the time is because i was just swept up in the moment!!!!!!

i want dancing and holding and touching!!! i want smoochies and adoration!!!!! damn it i want the world!!! i want the whole world, give it to my now! *cough* bugger sorry i wandered off into a willywonka song there for a sec. another spazzy attack probably. my neck hurts

i am so sick to death of men after just sex, or just to cop a feel, or whatever is on their mind, and i am so sick of girlies using me as a tourist spot, a nice place to visit, but i would never stay there.

i am uber sick of it. i am beggining to think i will just give up. maybe there is noone out there for me, no one out there to make me feel special.

is it hopeless everyone? or is it just how i feel at the moment because im not well?

it makes me sad, im going to stop thinking of it now.

what else can i think of? lets see what he have covered so far

sickness
impending doom
unemployment
uncaring people
what love is to me and how i am not getting any

hrmmm what else is there?

Oh my god i just saw an add with the wiggles in it and wagges the dog was in it and I SO DIDNT LOOK LIKE WAGGES!!!! is nothing sacred?!?!

my blood taking hole hurts.....and so does my neck

im sleepie again... this sucks

crap i forgot to eat again.... aw well, i might make some crackers.... of the prawn variety.

well my computer is running uber slow, and i think i feel a sleepie attack coming on. share the love with someone close, and dont forget to hug my t-shirt today.

lotsa love

a sad lonely lilly pilly....

x0x0x

Adultshop.com, a mount olympus among the single and horny...

praise and credit where it is due, people! i swear without this site, and shop, my poor little mind would have snapped like Tommy at the end of Friday the 13th number 5...

ive been out all weekend, im tired, my feet hurt so much that i can hardly walk, my head goes bwah bwah and i have the song from TISM running through my brain .... everyone else has had more sex than me...

its not from lack of trying, i can tell you that, it is thanks to the womanly fairy making her monthly visit... sigh

but right now i have watched friday the 13th numbers 4,5, and 6, now i am watching the great muppet caper. good fun!!!

i will write more next time, i swear!

lotsa love lilly

xoxoxo

Fools give you reasons, wise men never try...

sounds rather profound doesnt it.... it is actually a line from the muppet show, sung by Bert, you know the one, from bert and ernie.

yes'm my mate just bought the muppet show series one, and i am currently having marital relations with it with my eyes....

dont ask, ive been coming up with some scary analogies of late.

Well what has been happening of late, well, i havent updated out of the sheer fact that my computer is having a hissy fit and hasnt been very nice to me lately... it could be because its a hunka i bought off ebay... that and i have no idea what to do to keep my computer happy, downloading porn probably isnt healthy for it. neither is switching it off at the button and not the proper way (im lethargic, so sue me)

so i apologise to all who wanted to hear from me, i am very very sorry, and i am sure you and i can come to some sort of..... compromise ;) you know who im talking too..... @>--->---

*sings loud and off key strumming extremely out of tune guitar*OOOOOOOOOH melly, you came and you gave me a punchie, cause you hate the song i am singing!!!!

OOOOOOh NACEY!! You came and you gave me a snoggie!
and i love you so much, OH NACEY!!!

OOOOOOOOOh melly, you came and you stabbed me in the eye,
cause you dont like my singing oh melly!

OOOOOOH nacey! you came and you drew me a picture....
and i've never felt so special oh nacey!

muahahahaaaaaaa!!!!! that was fun! that cheered me up emmensley!

Weell i also had a drumming lesson today, i havent drummed in AGES but i up and decided i would start again. i had uber fun and my teacher said i was a show off! that means im goood! WOOOHOOO!!

oh oh i have a good one liner from the muppet show!!! "her eyes said "yes yes" but her face had no nose! BWAHAHAHA!!! im not sure why that if funny, but i found it pretty funny!

well i have a tummy ache, so i am off to bed with a glass of that fizzy stuff that makes you feel better... its acutally made my left shoulder hurt..... dont ask, lots of buggeryfucks thanks to incompetant doctors.

well i love ya

and leave ya

Lilly

xoxoxox

*BOOM* AAAAAAAAH my heart!

well it was a balmy 26 degrees down here in Tassie... anyone who has ever visited or lived here knows that we, as Taswiegens, live close to or under the ozone layer hole, so when it gets hot, it gets harshly hot. But today was nice and balmy....

untill it started raining....

I'm not sure what happened to me, i used to like thunder storms... but i guess one day it took me off guard and now i get like a puppy dog and start to freak out.

so its raining heffalumps and woozles as i sit here inside with the fan on in ma undergroobers far far away from all the windows.... dont bother ringing cause i aint picking up that phone.

now, after a whole bunch of comments saying two of the same things.... everyone else likes to dress up and every one wants to see my paintings.... i thought, what the hey... id better give my babes what they want! so i went and took some picicha's of my experimentations of shade (the ones that are finished anyhoo!) so here they are! BY DEMAND!!!

This is the one i have ALMOST finished... it still looks a bit rough around the edges, but it should be finished soon. i had to take this picture standing on a chair... the wheat bix box was for artistic purposes, yup, very avant guarde of me...









This was no easy feat i tell you, there were so many times i just had to stop and walk away because i was just confusing myself with the colours. at one point i was almost in tears thinking that it wouldnt work and that i had ruined the picture. the mouth was almost my waterloo. there were moments i had just been staring at it for so long that i was picking faults and thinking it looked too much like she had a moustache, that the colour of the mouth was just not going to work.... but now i look at it, i think it came out quite nice.









This peice i really really like, it was one i wasnt all that impressed with when it was on paper. but now that it is right there, all painted. im quiet happy with it. its trippy.

















now THIS was a peice of art not completed, will probably never be completed. the story behind this peice was my college years, my art teacher and i seriously didnt like eachother.... she was the type of person who would ask you to draw something, you would show her, and she would critisize, then pick up a pen and draw all over it with the "improvements" she wanted to see. im not sure about anyone else, but that used to piss me off something shocking. THIS IS MY ART, NOT YOURS!!! suggest, dont destroy the original.
So one day i did a piece (not sure where it is now, i think i gave it to someone because they really liked it.) that was quite big, of an innocent looking cartoon girl, with a machette, with some writing on it, depicting "sometimes, i believe they would let her get away with murder."
it was just a muck around peice, but a cute peice all the same. she critisized it, saying she wanted the writing to be different, she didnt like the writing. then i saw her move for the pen.... that FUCKING pen.... so i stood infront of the piece, crossed my arms and said "no, we wont be changing a damn thing, ive signed it, its mine and i have spoken." Gutsy? yes, Stupid? you betcha. ive never seen a person look so challenged in my life... oooh she hated me. but i felt i had won a personal little battle of my own.

Then came the war. the art show came upon us, and i was so proud, my family came, my friends came... all to see my picture mounted HALF BEHIND THE FIRE HOSE!!!!! i could have killed... no judge in this country would have convicted me in that time... the writing she wanted changed was hidden behind a big ass red fire hose reel. my mother tried to comfort me, my friends tried to hold be back from ripping the place apart, and i did my best not to let her seem me cry.

She was satan, that was for sure. but this peice, this pretty unfinished peice, was graffitied on but some dumbass who had smoked one to many joints and thought it was a good idea to sign his arty name all over my work. till that day, i was niether here nor there on the topic of graffiti as an art form... now i know it was not an art form if the person who does it DELIBERATELY DISTROYES someone elses to "tag" something. an artist would respect another artists work, not set out to destroy it.

but i digress from my point, my "art teacher" just took one look, laughed, and made a rather spiteful comment that i choose not to repeat. so, it is not finished due to the fact that after that i was banned from the art supply room... for reasons i choose not to repeat... though i think i won the war... god it brings a smile to my face thinking about it.

well anyway, i hope this quenches your thirst for art.

and on another note, Melody muffin got her provisional license today... so i guess me and my full license arent needed anymore....*sniff* but congrats anyhoo!

and another note (god all these notes and ill have enough for a whole book!) i havent been at all well, my doctor has put it down to the stressful and hostile environment in which i work in. so it looks like im looking for a new job... its too bad, i really do like the people i work with, and my job isnt a bad one, i like it, but lately it have become to stressful and too hard for me to handle on my own. so wish me luck people in hunting for a job, i will continue my work until i find something nice and calm for me.

i am just sick of being sick, and if it is work causing it, then i guess i have no choice.

but enough about that, i have things to do, people to surprise! things to organise!

i love you all and will update again soon!

Lilly xoxox