Saturday, December 31, 2005

Open wide, come inside... its Playschool

is it wrong to perve on the guy from playschool?

At this stage i am realising the reason that most people have children... just so they can perve on the guy from playschool.

Personally, im not watching playschool anymore, cause i felt this overwhelming urge to make something out of playdough, so i changed the channel to watch this moron who is way funnier than Steve Irwin, cause this guy actually squeals like a little girl when he gets hurt, which is like every 1.43 seconds...

He was in the water, handfeeding moray eels (which is just stupid in itself) when a massive electric stringray (that give off a max of 200 volts) and decided to be the first person to handfeed one... wanna know why he was the first one? cause they GIVE OFF 200 VOLTS!!! then he was all upset when it shocked him.... funny to watch though.

Then he was pissing off a massive (we are talking the size of a basketball) crab that was eating... *gee i wonder what will happen now* CRUNCH!!! BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Then he was feeding birds by holding a small fish up into the air and letting them swoop.... cause birds mid flight arent going to mistake your podgy pink nubs for fish... he squealed like a little girl....

now he is cave dwelling... gee i wonder what will happen now (bats swoop and bite and he dies of rabies) wait he is climbing a big mound of bat poo and is wondering what smells....

well im off to get rip roaring drunk

love you all

Lilly xoxoxoxo

PS dont go pissing off electric stingrays, k?

Friday, December 30, 2005

Why do I not work at E.B... I ask you!

HAHAHA!!! yup, I really really should work there... imagine the profit margin.... IMAGINE!!! hell i could sell a dictionary... why is that amazing? THEY DONT SELL DICTIONARIES!!! BWAHAHAHAH!!

yes... i am puffung my chest out, how dare you ask such a question... damn you....

if the picture had have been lower, you would have seen the pink sticker announcing that *this box is empty* .... dont you say a word melody, i swear!

so anyway, a new year is nearly upon us, ive been hanging at the Taste of Tasmania, probably more then i should, but what can i say, i like to drink waaaaiiiinne and watch buskers. i got to throw an apple to a busker.... I rock.

i love buskers, specially good international buskers... they rock hard!

i love waaine... *thats wine, but frenchafied* but i just read that too much drinking causes your bones to go snap more often.... trust me if you knew me well, it would explain alot...

mmm im watching the human body, and there were spermies on it.... mmmm

well im off to the shop to get mixer for my alkihol, cause im thoisty...

love yah all

lilly xoxoxoxoxo

Sunday, December 25, 2005

boxing day anniversary.

oh and before i forget and dont get the time to say this, but please find a special place in your heart to remember the poor victims of the tsunami tradgedy... and the families of those lost that may never be found. it is very sad to lose a loved one, but to have no closure means the pain is there everyday for them. never really knowing. to them i send my love and condolences.

Fleece Fluffy Duck to all!

well i won christmas again!

i gots a twelve inch gir from invader zim! and a huge ass my littlest pet turtle (if you didnt know, i first saw the mini version whilst food shopping at woolworths, and just HAD to buy him.) i gots a microfibre towel and multi purpose dish washing liquid for my future trip to europe. i gots lollies and chocit, alcohol and rainbow makers, and a gift voucher for diva... sweeeeeet. i got a real leather bag, a rainbow wrap around head band and this weird little keyring of a little man made mostly of a beard, which you can lift up and see steak... my mum informs me that he is a hillbilly tasmanian. so i called him william richard the third. sometimes i worry about my mum...

i ate ham and turkey and chicken, and icecream and rasperries, strawberries and blueberries, and i had a hangover headache by 10am thismorning. god i love christmas!!!!!

i had to get to my mums place early thismorning, because i have to do all my sisters and mums makeup, then straighen and style all their hair.... then take photos... i dont mean to brag but i do NOT take a bad picture of anyone. i guess why that is why i am asked to take the pictures at most family and friends gatherings....

oh and there were so many tanties thrown by the littlies... my poor auntie, i dont know how she puts up with it. i just find their tanties funny. i didnt find it funny, however, when one of them went and fed my dog a cooked chicken bone and she started choking... had to wack my hand down her throat and get it out... no sooner had i got it out and thrown it down, turned to tell the kiddie why you cant feed the dog chicken bones, then the dog had whipped over and eaten the same chicken bone again and started choking again.... no sympathy this time, just another whack down the throat... stupid puppy! i had to laugh

my little sister got new mp3 players, so i spent an hour or so trying to get them to work. what is a christmas present that you cant use straight away? i ask you!

so now i am home, tired, exhausted actually, surrounded with spoils of christmas and a nice glass of champagne and some tv, and i think i might go and have a nanny nap.

gosh christmas makes me all warm and tinglie inside... or is that the champas?

hope you all have a merry christmas and i hope to make an entry before the new year, if i dont, i hope you all have a happy and bountiful new year!

lots of love

santie lilly pilly!



Monday, December 19, 2005

erm..... mildy tinglie weekend....

well, I was reading some of my friends blogs.... and i noticed that most to all of them were titled "Big weekend" or "Huge weekend", or "Massively explosive toy run weekend"...

Well i babysat. and im proud of it. I was sick, i was blerg, and yet i still babysat 4 kiddliewinks.

man am i good. i played possibly the longest game of pictionary juniour. im not sure my littlest ward got what the aim of the game was, since she spent half an hour drawing a full colour picture that we werent allowed to look at untill she was finished... so we all patiently sat on the couch and waited for her to finish.

so after pictionary, it was time for dessert. after about half hour of squabbling over who would get the biggest one...(it was peaches and homemade yoghurt) i finally said to them we would play a sort of ebay of desserts, guess my highest bid....

God i am so sore and tired.

Love you all


Friday, December 16, 2005

I must have killed so many black cats....

my luck this week has sucked big time people!!!!!

even my semi boss told me that she believed that i must have run over a few black cats, whilst running under a ladder, breaking mirrors and not looking people in the eyes when i make a toast and clink my drink with theirs.

im hugely not well, my glands all down my right side of my face and neck and shoulder have swollen to "ripleys believe it or not" proportions. all i had for two days was pannadol, cause ibeprofen makes my stomach implode.

so i havent slept, eaten or SWALLOWED for several days.

im on pennicilan, which seems to be making me dry reach on the hour, every hour.... and im too sick to go to the doctors and change them.

my temperature is 39.3 degrees celcius, dont ask me what that is in farenhieght, cause i havent the foggiest. but it means im sweating like a fat man in a sauna....

my breath is RANCID people! i have brushed my teeth 7 times today, but it just aing getting better. its really gross, i can tell you right now that it is a good thing that you cant smell it.

i wish i had the energy to take a picture of my tonsil, cause its all white and yuckie and such. seriously guinness book of world records stuff....

and the best thing is, i have to baby sit 4 children tommorow.... god damn what did i do to deserve all of this?

im going to go and throw up

love you all

yuckie lilly pilly

p.s. the answer to the game was h. all of the above... thank you all for trying!!! it was a fun game i should play more often with you all!

love sicklylilly

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Boxed lunch at the Y

well, no...... I lie

its more boxed dinner that i got from noodle house and brought home and ate on the couch whilst watching futurama, i just thought it was funny.

now my tummie is so full its going to explode all over the loungeroom, coffee table inclusive. it was yummie, soooooooooo yummie, not as yummie as sushi, but that makes me sick now, so i settle for noodlehouse.

So i find myself in a bit of a dilemma, there is nothing on tv, and im too full to move and change it to a dvd or something, and my food is still settling so i cant sleep yet.

and such is life, my friends!

Well, i was asked a very interesting and well thought out question "what is it that i do for a living?"

well..... after much deliberation, i thought "hrmm i could say what i do, and risk myself getting caught by work bitching so very much (as we all know i do, often, at great lenghts, whether you want me too or not....)"

so i thought i would make it interesting... i thoughts... i can make this into a game for all to play...
here we go!

is my job a -
a. Receptionist
b. medical receptionist
c. Medical Assistant
d. Underpaid nurse
e. Infection control
f. Lab Technitian
g. too good and overqualified to be paid so very little to put up with so much crap
h. All of the above

just guess i dare you......


well, today didnt suck too much, i had the best drumming lesson of all time, i got to go massive on the drums!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

aaaaand thats about it

gonna go now and......stalk.......lennie.......and......carl....

Love ya all!

Love Lilly


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Fruit salad...

well, my friends, i had a very nice weekend, so nice, you dont get to hear about it.... not cause it was illegal or anything, just cause im too lazy and i was too drunk to recolect it all in one sitting.

but i wasnt drunk ENOUGH for my day at work today.... that i can recolect to the umpteenth degree....

it all started when i got up, i was sooo happy, i hadnt sneezed at all (bloody hayfever) i was awake enough to see (doesnt happen very often) i got to the bathroom and i reached for my deoderant... and knocked over my FREAKENG expensive dafidoff cool water woman parfume.... it smashed..... i could have cried. so i painstakingly cleaned it up, and continued on with getting ready... and reached for my deoderant one more time.... CRASH BANG WALLAWALLA WASHINGTON!!! damn it....

then i was late to my walk to work with my workmate... which made us lateish to work... which meant i was behind straight off the rank...... then for some reason, the fates conspired against me and i had the worst clients all day.... i wont say much in fear that it will jepardise my already scary job, but in person ill tell you all about it. and to make things worse we were running late which added fuel to the already nasty clientelle list.... then the office kept screwing up my daylist and not fixing it for me..... i had to run even more late running around trying to fix it up... then i needed to find a cd... i asked them to help but to no avail... that would have interupted their already busy day of FREAKING NOTHING!!!! (id be wearing a pms resistant coat right about now people)

my boss also changed my rostered day off from wed to tuesday with a DAYs notice... so no bikini wax or doctors appointments for me..... grrrr

late for lunch, late leaving work, damn it....... but my work mate whom i walk with cheered me up and bought me some lollie bananas (the nice soft kind, they are my absolute favourite) that made me smile

the walk home made me calm down a bit as well, and my muffin cheered me up by dropping by and doing some lewid movements on my spiky fit ball.... hehehe

and my baby doll also made me laugh by coming up with some wicked stripper names for us.... (not a subject brought up by me, for once!!! *a sound of shock and awe arises from the reader*) her's would be cherry delight, an awesome name! i couldnt think of one for me, so cherry came up with *strawberry champagne* totally awesome!!!!

so we have cherries, strawberries and lolly bananas.... a total fruit salad of a day....

well i am going to pms at some random shop clerk... just cause i can....

Love you all and thanks for listening



Saturday, December 03, 2005

my breasts can predict the weather....

well, not really, they can tell when its about to rain..... well to be honest, they can tell when it is raining....

and i recon there is a thirty percent chance its raining right now....