Monday, November 28, 2005

will blog for food...

Well, we all new it was going to happen, hell i think the blind man down the street saw it coming. I am so going to lose my job.

what a great start to such a happy blog entry. I hurt.... but i should probably start from the begginning ..... *wavery remenising lines as we fade to the past*

well, as we all know, im not the healthiest puppy of the litter. i have never hidden that fact, but it is getting so much worse.

i have been sleeping alot lately, like, waaaay more than usual, but it doesnt seem enough, i seem to be blacking out for very short periods of time, which is just scary in itself, but since it has been getting worse, i have managed to *spaz out* and hit my head of the ironing board table (iron fell off and is now broken)

that was more embarrasing then anything else, but just recently had another *spaz attack* and fell down some stairs, and i must have landed and hit the back of my neck, and i have now injured my neck as a result. it hurts really bad and the doc said it will be uber painful for the next couple of days... i will be useless at work since i cant even move, let alone drive.

and that will be the end of my job. From the way my boss sounded, it came across as if i had planned to hurt and nearly kill myself... she didnt even worry if i was ok. and i dont think i can work for someone as incensitive as that. if she doesnt care about her employees when injured at home, imagine what would happen at work. it is really a shame too because i had made so many nice friends. that and i love my job, but if these *spaz attacks* keep happening, then i cant do that job anyway, i would be a liability.

what can i say but.... what a buggeryfuck of a pickle i have before me.

so i had to have 7 vials of yummy blood taken, and more tests to see if i am narcoleptic, or epileptic, or a lost cause.... or all of the above.

right now, life does not look as pretty as it once does, and that makes me a sad lil pil.

but enought about that, i have waaay more to be upset and sad and emotional about.

get your pms raincoats cause im gonna be pouring it out over your heads..... ew that didnt sound right at all. just ew....

where to start..... oh yes.... where is the love? why is it that i am foolishly still thinkin that love exists, love it out there, just waiting for you to trip, stumble, nearly fall and be caught up into its arms, look up into its eyes and BAM! love.

is it just me or is love dead? oh dont get me wrong, sex isnt dead, wakers arent dead, perverts arent dead, and pig headed sweaty gorrilas arent dead.

i get all starrie eyed when i think of love....think like cartoonie huge waterie eyes with big waterie stars, and a wobblie lip. that is me thinking of love.

my idea of love in the beggining has nothing to do with sex. all i want is someone who when i meet them, we could chat and laugh and hang around eachother, and i know in my mind that they are not in it for sex. yes, i can see though most of you think you are being really sneaky and suave, but i know the look.... the same look is given to a steak strung up infront of a starving lion herd....

like all women, i wanna be wooed!!! i want romantic dates with movies and dinner and flowers, i want walks along starlit beaches (yeah i dont like the beach usually, but it is the principle of the thing) i want to be surprised, swept of my feet, i want to be out all night and have no idea what the time is because i was just swept up in the moment!!!!!!

i want dancing and holding and touching!!! i want smoochies and adoration!!!!! damn it i want the world!!! i want the whole world, give it to my now! *cough* bugger sorry i wandered off into a willywonka song there for a sec. another spazzy attack probably. my neck hurts

i am so sick to death of men after just sex, or just to cop a feel, or whatever is on their mind, and i am so sick of girlies using me as a tourist spot, a nice place to visit, but i would never stay there.

i am uber sick of it. i am beggining to think i will just give up. maybe there is noone out there for me, no one out there to make me feel special.

is it hopeless everyone? or is it just how i feel at the moment because im not well?

it makes me sad, im going to stop thinking of it now.

what else can i think of? lets see what he have covered so far

impending doom
uncaring people
what love is to me and how i am not getting any

hrmmm what else is there?

Oh my god i just saw an add with the wiggles in it and wagges the dog was in it and I SO DIDNT LOOK LIKE WAGGES!!!! is nothing sacred?!?!

my blood taking hole hurts.....and so does my neck

im sleepie again... this sucks

crap i forgot to eat again.... aw well, i might make some crackers.... of the prawn variety.

well my computer is running uber slow, and i think i feel a sleepie attack coming on. share the love with someone close, and dont forget to hug my t-shirt today.

lotsa love

a sad lonely lilly pilly....


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