Wednesday, September 28, 2005

ink me up, hon

why is it so impossible for a good lookin, upper classy chick to be taken seriously in a tattoo parlour?

this is my predicament... a friend and I decided we were going to get our tattoo's this weekend. i have wanted my tattoo for a long time and have the design on hand, in fact, its right here! tada! my friend wanted a little dragon fly to acompany her chinese symbol and was just happy to choose one at the parlour.

but what happened to us today was this....

tattoo parlour no. 1. "hi we would like to book for two tattoo's..."
"so what? you are booking for two? you two?!"
"...erm....yes, that is generally what two imply' anyway, my friend would like a dragonfly about 2-3 cm height and width and she is hap"
*interrupts*"well you might as well ask me to draw a dot on her!"
"i beg your pardon?"
"its way to small, i can't do that detail that small!"
"riiiiiiight, so anyway, i have my own design an..."
*interrupts again* "well what is it, darls?"
"umm, its two blue birds an"
*interrupts again* "again i jus cant do that detail so small"
"but i haven't told you the si.... ah forget it, im not going to go to someone
who cannot do simple detail in his art."

tattoo parlour no.2
"hi, we would like to book for two tattoo's"
"you both?"
", that *again* generally means the two of us"
"are you sure? you two dont really seem like the type..."
*give him a funny look*
*elbows corpulent co-worker* "when luv?"
"this saturday if possible"
*without looking at appointment book* "nah we are fully booked all days for two weeks..."
"then what was the point in asking then?"

tattoo parlour no 3.
"its CLOSED?!?, at 2 in the afternoon? wtf mate?!?"

and that is how many parlours are in my little quiet not so mountain town.....

fuck it, im going to go to melbourne now to get mine, bugger these small minded drug fucked meanies.

but anyway on a nicer note, my friend mel has the cutest picture on her blog! you may want to check it out @

love ya all, blow me kisses



Tuesday, September 27, 2005

some people got it... and some people after 15 beers think they got it

like my heading says... some people got it, and some people after 15 beers think they got it, but really have just got a hold of MY ASS!!!

dont get me wrong, i dont mind, i am not like most girlie girls. but damn.... i have bruises! (and stubble rash but we wont go into that...)

enough about that, lets get into scamantics! i have been contemplating.... and you know what that means!

i was thinking.... and it hurt...nah just kidding, i was thinking about those scary catholic wankers who go to the funerals of gay teenage boys who have recently died and boycott it by standing outside with picket signs and screaming at the boys family that he is going to suffer in hell for all eternity...

i was thinking back to that part in the bible that says do not judge others for i will do the judging in heaven.... really this was a way of god saying "hey, by doing my job you are pretty much saying to me that you dont recon im good enough to do it myself, and i am god so SUCK ON THAT!

why is it that they only see what they want to see? they are stupid

and that is how the cookie crumbles

lots of love

lilly pilly

Monday, September 19, 2005

is the moonshinin' business that lucrative?

i must be in the wrong proffession people. aparently there is money to be made by bootlegging grog. or so that is what the movie "dukes of hazzard" has lead me to believe...and when has a movie ever led me wrong?!

so i apologise for my rant on thursday, but it was well worth it i tell you. it felt good i tell you! and you know how sometimes you rant, and then like a couple of days later you get a pang of guilt and think "oh maybe i was a little harsh..." well i can happily tell you that that is NOT applicable in my situation! its still just as fubar as it was when it happened.

but enough! we dont want to dwell on the past now do we? DO WE?!!?

well i had a nice weekend everyone, how about you? anyone else lucky enough to be on the recieving end of a spiked drink? i know i was.

i would like to put it out there to you guys out there who are thinking that spiking someones drink is going to get you a definate "lay".... WRONG!!! sooooo very very wrong....

i would like to put forth my argument in the way of a pretty arranged power point presentation, but i think that would be the tacky end of sarcasm, dont you?
so this will have to do for you people...

1. most females travel in packs of at minimum 2... unless you are planning to drag two unconsious body's home, i really think that you are wasting your time...

2. i would like to point out that most females arent stupid, for example, if i have only had 3 cruisers in 4 hours and i start having difficulty with speech and mobility, and start feeling like i have downed a bottle of tequila, i am going to excuse myself and get the big ass bouncer who happens to be a really good friend of mine to call me a cab and beat the crap out of any male that comes remotly close to my being.

3. did you try buying a drink for them minus the rowie's? charm will get you everywhere...

4. did you try asking? hello!? statistical chances are that there are at least one female in the vicinity that is a willing participant in your sleazy sceme.

5. two words.... extacy tablets....

now that i have made my very jaded point...jaded because i do not like making a fool of myself.... like passing out in taxi's, walking head on into telephone poles, sending a text message that was meant for my boyfriend, to the really wrong person at 12 at night, ruining a perfectly good pair of shoes...... grrrrrrr

well im off to bed peoples, have a better week than that goat in the first jurrasic park movie... you know, the one in the t-rex pen?

love you all


Thursday, September 15, 2005

it puts the lotion on its skin...

well some days it just keeps raining shit....

and when i awoke thismorning, it was pissing down. here's how it went down...

after waking at 6.00am and having a mental battle with myself for half an hour to get up, "its ok" i told myself "lilly, i know you feel like there is an anvil just waiting to drop on you, but it will be ok, you'll see"


I get to work to find a rats nest where my work station used to be. "no worries, i can fix this" i thought, as i dove in an did three times the work i usually do.

then later that day, i got a "formal warning"....... "im sorry, but a formal warning for what?" i ask... the low down, for being sick....

"and what did you want me to do to correct this exactly?"

low down, thats not their problem.....

im sorry, but YES it is! you obviously have a problem with me, you have enough of a problem to issue a warning, but as i can translate it, you don't care how or if i fix it?

....aren't bosses just fluffy cuddly caring bundle of sugary goodness? i know mine is.

ill skip all the other crappy things that happened and get straight to my dropping a peice of heavy expensive equipment, then being told that if it was broken i would have to "contribute" to replacing it....

no, thats fine, just worry about the stupid thing, and not the fact that i BROKE A NAIL!!! to most, that may sound a little crappy... but this is ACRYLIC!!! and that means it took half my nail with it. ouch...

but i am still smiling and still going strong with my head held high.

that was my vent for the day.

thank you for listenting


Tuesday, September 13, 2005

if you've got any PMS, fling it now


damn pressurised planes....ow...ow...ow

i will bet you that most of you out there dont realise that due to the pressurised thingie and stress and such, some unlucky females get*shifts uncomfotably* ...... ow...ow...ow....

and not only am i blessed with such a romantic occurence, i am also blessed with (to quote mr. doctor) "a lowered immune system due to great amount of stress that can trigger depression not to meantion that i catch every teeny tiny bug that i come near". ok, i dummed it down a little...

but enough! enough mister doctor, i banish you! i banish you and your porche....and your big house....and your clean clothes....and your easily perscribed antibiotics....and other perscription drugs.... *coughjerkcough*

i forget what i was on about.... damn it.....

well i will announce that i have a bad case of itchy feet.... and by that i do not mean that i have a foot condition....i dont care what my mother told you i do not have a foot condition!

it means, oh eternally thick one, that the goldfish has outgrown the pond, and has decided it was intended for bigger things....

im thinking of hitting europe, keeping in mind that like the goldfish, i change my mind every three seconds... which is a myth that i would looove to point out how stuupid it is, but some other time....yup... some other time.

so it will probably be next year some time i plan it.... weeeeeeee im getting pretty happy thinking about it, i tell you!

so now all i have to do is plan...and possibly find someone to come with me

well that is all from me today

im off to bed for the millionth time today.

love you all


Monday, September 12, 2005

the banana's taste better on the other side of the fence

well im back! thank you to all that thought i had fallen off a cliff and died. i am fine, i have been in qld for a whole week, shopping, drinking, floating on my back in a heated pool dreamily gazing through palm tree's onto a star studded sky....

now i am not going to hide the fact that i am uber depressed to be back, since i landed yesterday in 6 degrees of fucking cold made much more enjoyable by the inpenetrable rain that continued on through to today...its dark,cold and miserable... woot.

now don't get me wrong i missed my friends terribly, but my god i am depressed.

but let us not dwell, lets go on to the sharing of pictures that i took.... now let me see...
this is the view from my beautiful balcony.... sigh...

this is an albino kangaroo... he loves hugs and skrittchy scratch scratches behind his ears... i call him moofie... for no particular reason at all. this is harriet (no i didn't name her...what a poofie name...i like moofie better) she is 174 years old and was owned by charles darwin...she eats really funnie...

this is a cuddlie claw ridden koala... slightly related to the rare tasmanian drop bear....

this is a big ass crocodile, with his less kick ass girlfriend, it was funny to watch the zoo people trying to mow the lawn around their pool....hehehe

and last but not least... lilly the python! isnt she cute!!!!

well i think im gonna be sick now, so ill leave you to mull the picitcha's i took, i do have more but my mummie has them.

love you all

love lilly

p.s. its my birthday in less than a month, i turn twenty one...just a reminder