Thursday, June 07, 2007

I have seams... so I guess Im like a Teddy bear

Im back! I didnt die!! WOOT!!! Viva life!

The op went ....well. It wasnt what they thought it was (endometriosis... if you dont know what that is, google it... its not pretty)

But on the other hand, everything wasnt hunky dory either.

It was funny when the doctor delivered the news, at first i was like "HOOHAR!! its not endometriosis! I can still have kids!!! No more pain!!! IM NORMAL!!"

There was apparently a Pollyp (wikipedia it or google it, im not fussed) that would have been caused by something foriegn (ew) that they have removed which would have been the cause of my problemo's. So finders crossed that nabbs this in the budd!

but it doesnt stop there, then she kinda blahzayed out "but your left fallopian tube is blocked." Continue on with medical jargon...

And this was me "WOO!...wait, what? how can that have happened?"

"oh, probably from that infection we had to fix ages ago (that spawned from another thing ages ago that I will never speak of, and if you know, please keep it to yourself for my sake, thanks) continue on with medical jargon

this was me " cant this be fixed??"

this was her "oh... no...." Continue on with medical jargon

I was all like "wait, stop there, say again? my what is where now? it cant be fixed? so my left ovary and fallopian tube is what? for ever? like, permanently?"

this was her "oh yes, but thats ok, cause you have your right one." continue on with medical jargon.

this was me "..........................................................................*sqeak*..................................."

So I went from the most extaticly happy that I have been in my life, to so crushed that I wept unconsolably in a record time of.. oh... about 0.03 seconds.

Gotta love that bedside manner.

And I know, everyone has been telling me, "oh its not like you cant have kids, you still have the other one, this is nothing. At least it wasnt endometriosis! Lots of people go through life with only one and they are just fine."

To you, if you were male, I ask you, how would you feel if the doctor took one of your testicles? not quite manly now are we? Wouldnt feel right again ever huh? Feel like a tear is forming? yeah i thought so.

Hey, loose an arm, meh, thats nothing, you still got the other one... Lots of people go through life fine with just one arm....

If you cant tell, the fact that everyone keeps telling me that its nothing and everything will be fine, isnt really comforting me as much as you would think. A little the first time I heard it, but it sorta jades me every other time it is said.

But I've cried all the tears I wish to cry, Ive stayed at my mums and had her cuddle me, Mattie bought me an angel bear from the teddy bear shop that is so soft and cuddly it makes you wanna never let it go, and flowers from matties parents and their dog stating what a brave girl I am (that made me feel quite empowered...yeah.... i am a brave girl, arent i? *insert muscle flex*grrr!)

So thanks to all that sent me messages, and emails of well wishing, it was nice to hear your support.

I have had my four stitches removed now, and feeling a little sore, but should be back to as normal as possible quite soon.

Im off to have my cornflakes (aka - Lunch at work)

Love you all



1 comment:

Rossilady said...

*mass hugs* ok, it's just not right to hug you in an email. You HAVE to let me know where you live again so i can come annoy you on saturday! I promise choccy bouquets!
A potentially pain-free lilly? just contemplate that wonderful thought for a moment. I know the other is scary. Scary as hell and i'd be spending a lot of nights awake and teary eyed if it happened to me. But it sounds like it can be worked around when the time comes for there to be little lils and matties. It's just so great to hear that they may have finally been able to fix whatever has been causing you pain and illness for so long.