My Kingdom for a computer with working speakers... or a spa that works

AAAAAARRRG!!!! Damn it all to hades!!!!

So this is how it goes.... I havent been able to listen to not ONE of my friends you tube thingies since he started doing them, like about fucking a year ago, because
A.) the only net i have it at the several work places I have had the PLEASURE of working at
B.) For some strange reason, all these work places have REMOVED ALL FORMS of speakers and such,
C.) I am too computer illiterate to actually know how to fix that
D.) My parents have gone away and they have the net and LOE AND BEHOLD!!!! this damn mongrel of a computer doesnt have any sign of FREAKING SOUND AND I DONT KNOW WHY!!!! *insert sobbing noise now*

But it does have all the signs of having a virus or a hidden porn thingie that brings up explorer randomly without my doing and brings up the weirdest sites of all time, or just keeps bringing up my sisters messenger, which aggravates me more because I am so out of touch i dont know how to work freaking messenger anymore..... why oh computer lord must you taunt me in this way?

...... what?..... yes ive had a few to drink.... why do you ask such obvious questions little purple horse? what is your purpose here? why do you speak such insipidous things?!?! *what is insipidous??? i think i just made that up)

Well its good friday, and i am at my parents house with a computer thats past life was the small girl from the exorcist but with less noise... or maybe more like that kid in that history story about how she was deaf and blind and someone taught her how to say water..... nah stick with the exorcist....

and im stuck with a brand new spa (thank you parents with disposable incomes!!!) that has decided to go on strike and just be an oversized novelty bath tub with holes that make funny bubly noises when the water hits them..... DAMN IT!!! All i wanted was a spa!!! (that works)
Not one of those public ones, I wanted to get nice and naked and have a proper soak without the worry that two horny teenagers have fornicated in it previously.... well.... at least not two teenagers that i dont know where they have been....

so here i am, a bit pissed, waiting for mattie to come home, (he is working today because his head office said that if the store makes budget, he gets a bonus of somesort... so in on a public holiday he is somewhere else, far far away from me, and i am left all alone with a COMPUTER WITH NO SOUND AND A VIRUS AND A SPA THAT DONT WORK DANGNABBIT!!!!

Im not pissed off, not in the slightest.... nope.... oh and not to mention that my parents have austar which is a good thing, if austar didnt SUCK ASS!!!! my god there is nothing on!!! im watching fucking midsomer murders!!!!!! that is all that is on!!! all they do is repeat the same thing on other channels, then repeat it all the next day!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!

so this is fun... this is exactly how i thought i would be spending my long weekend.... mmmmyep.

at least i have my alcihole.... sweeet sweet poisoning bliss...... with sugar.... mmmmm

I have decided that i wanna go out tonight, and hopefully something will go right this freaking long weekend!

What is internet porn without sound?!?! its just people making funny faces at me.... taunting me with their soundie goodness.... dam it

Well that was my rant,

Im off to see who killed mrs inkpen-thomas and her daughter with poisoned pasta and a shovel... you heard....

Lilly pilly - out

PS- just so im not bored out of my scull, if you are reading this and you are a homicidal lesbian supermodel who wants to go on an easter egg hunt, Meet me under mrs inkpen-thomases gravestone at eleventy seven hours... k?

Love a frustrated lilly pilly